


go back

by moonlikeyou



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Canon Universe, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11654223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlikeyou/pseuds/moonlikeyou
Summary: Sometimes Jinyoung wishes he could go back in time.Well, not so far back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and definitely not when Korea was divided into different kingdoms and dynasties. Jinyoung has watched enough historical dramas to know those emperors and princes were up to no good, thank you very much.Jinyoung just wants to go back to 2012, back when he was in JJ Project with Jaebum. When it was just Jinyoung and Jaebum against the world.





	go back

Sometimes Jinyoung wishes he could go back in time.

Well, not so far back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and definitely not when Korea was divided into different kingdoms and dynasties. Jinyoung has watched enough historical dramas to know those emperors and princes were up to no good, thank you very much.

Jinyoung just wants to go back to 2012, back when he was in JJ Project with Jaebum. When it was just Jinyoung and Jaebum against the world.

It’s not like Jinyoung doesn’t love Got7- it’s quite the opposite of that, actually. Jinyoung loves the members and even their manager hyung as if they were family. They stick together through rain or shine. Without Got7, Jinyoung would be nothing.

But when Jinyoung had nothing, he would still have Jaebum.

Jinyoung remembers when they tied for first place in the audition, sizing each other up warily. He remembers being friends with Jaebum, training together until the early morning, the studio dead silent except for their exhausted panting. He remembers learning from JYP that he was debuting with Jaebum, the two of them chattering late at night, fantasizing about chasing their dreams and being famous as JJ Project.

Jinyoung also remembers when JYP tells them that no, JJ Project isn’t disbanding, but they were just going to go back into training and debut again in the future. He remembers Jaebum’s arms holding him firmly, as tears run down Jinyoung’s face uncontrollably when they get back to their shared apartment. Jinyoung remembers Jaebum telling him to get back up, so that they will become better and debut again.

Jinyoung remembers Jaebum being there for him, when no one else was.

Things are different in Got7, though. In Got7, he has to share Jaebum’s affection with five other members, and Jaebum has to take care of five other people. Jinyoung realises that he’s not Jaebum’s precious dongsaeng anymore, he can’t just get away with everything by pulling some cheesy aegyo at his Jaebum hyung.

So Jinyoung changes. He learns to be observant and caring, looking out for the younger members. He stops relying on Jaebum so much and learns to take care of himself and even other people.

Jinyoung’s glad he changed- he enjoys looking after his ‘kids’, and it’s a relief to feel somewhat useful in the group. But Jinyoung misses it. He misses being Jaebum’s favourite and only maknae.

‘Only’’s definitely out of the picture now, and ‘favourite’ is starting to feel questionable too.

Jinyoung doesn’t see himself as an easily jealous person, but it feels weird when Jaebum offers to room with Youngjae when they move into their first dorm together- Jinyoung decides to be the bigger person and requests the single room, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Jinyoung knows that jealousy is an ugly feeling, but that knowledge doesn’t stop him from feeling sour when Jaebum doesn’t sit next to him on Real Got7 or doesn’t take his side on the New Yang Nam Show- c’mon, fried chicken was clearly the better dish!

Jinyoung tries to ignore that nasty feeling that rises from his gut and get on with his life, but it isn’t always that easy.

Today is their Never Ever stage for Mcountdown. The group feels different without Jackson, so Jaebum tries to cheer them up by patting them awkwardly while they line up before getting on stage- It’s such a dorky, endearing, and Jaebum thing to do that Jinyoung smiles a little despite his messed up feelings.

Jaebum pats all of them, muttering gruff ‘good luck’s under his breath as they file on stage. He pauses when he comes to Jinyoung- his eyes waver ever so slightly before he settles for a quick pat on Jinyoung’s arm.

It feels weird, because 2012 Jaebum would’ve fist bumped him and pulled him into a side hug, but Jinyoung’s trying to get used to Got7 Jaebum and forget JJ Project Jaebum.

 _They’re different people_ , Jinyoung decides after the stage passes in a blur and they head backstage, sweaty and exhausted. Jinyoung wants to sit with Jaebum, Youngjae and Bambam on their way back, but when he gets to the car door Jaebum asks him, very nicely, to sit with  
Mark and Yugyeom.

Jinyoung sulks in the car- he can’t help it, Jaebum just doesn’t seem to give him the time of day, and he tunes out Yugyeom’s teasing by reading a book in the car. Mark notices him sulking and gives him space. This is why Jinyoung loves Mark- Mark sees through him right away and gives him what he needs.

But no one has been able to read him like Jaebum does.

Jinyoung slams his book shut, suddenly irritated. Both Yugyeom and Mark look at him worriedly, asking if he’s alright. Jinyoung nods, angry at himself for losing his composure.

 _It was all Jaebum’s fault for taking care of him so well before and downright neglecting him like this now_ , Jinyoung thinks bitterly.

\------

Jinyoung’s messy feelings make him on edge all the time, especially in Jaebum’s presence or even when Jaebum’s name is mentioned. It makes his head spin and heart speed up, and Jinyoung isn’t sure that this is good for his health. It doesn’t help that he starts noticing things about Jaebum that are maddening attractive.

Not really noticing, since he’s known about them for a long time- more like Jaebum’s attractiveness is now highlighted in such a way Jinyoung cannot ignore it anymore.

Fuming, Jinyoung makes a list of things about Jaebum that leave him incredibly frustrated.

1) Jaebum’s back

Jinyoung knows that Jaebum has broad shoulders and a sturdy back, of course he knows- he spent half of his JJ Project days leaning on Jaebum’s wide shoulders, after all.

But Jaebum’s shoulders had never looked so firm and dependable, even from a distance where Jaebum was talking to Yugyeom.

Jinyoung stares- he can’t help it. He thinks about falling asleep on Jaebum’s shoulders in 2012, and how it would feel now.

Jaebum feels Jinyoung’s eyes drilling a hole in his head and walks over to where he’s sitting on the sofa,”What?”

Jinyoung feels his ears getting hot,”Nothing.” Jaebum’s shoulders look even better up close, and Jinyoung wants to scream.

Jaebum sits down next to him, and Jinyoung is suddenly aware of how little space there is between them. He edges closer to the other side of the sofa, trying to put as much distance s he can between himself and Jaebum.

Of course Jaebum notices this, and Jinyoung can only stutter and wriggle away when Jaebum pulls him into a headlock. Jaebum’s face is too close to his when he smirks and says, ”Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung wriggles free from Jaebum’s grasp, his face on fire as he runs back to his room, leaving behind a very confused Jaebum in his wake.

 _What the fuck was that?_ Jinyoung groans and buries his red face into a pillow.

Im Jaebum was too much sometimes.

2) Jaebum’s eyes

Jinyoung continues to struggle because of Jaebum.

Jackson rejoins them again, and they’re waiting backstage for their comeback stage on The Show. Youngjae does his vocal warm-up exercises loudly while Yugyeom and Bambam huddle around Bambam’s phone, looking at some viral video. Jackson and Jinyoung sit on the sofa, chatting idly until Mark walks over and joins them.

Jinyoung missed Jackson while he was away- everything just seemed so off without his constant chatter and wild antics. Jinyoung’s glad Jackson’s back, he thinks as he leans over and ruffles Jackson’s hair affectionately.

Jackson squawks loudly and jumps away, complaining about how Jinyoung ruined his hairstyle. Jinyoung only laughs at Jackson as he frantically asks the stylists for help. Next to him, Mark smiles at Jackson fondly, and Jinyoung drapes an arm around Mark. Jinyoung would never trade these small moments with his members for the world.

Mark suddenly shifts in his arm, and Jinyoung suddenly notices Jaebum staring at them across the room. Jaebum’s stare is intense, the two moles on his eyelid glaring at them. Jinyoung removes his arm and stares right back at Jaebum, silently admiring how pretty his eyes are.

Jaebum’s eyes are bright and fierce, and those two delicate moles just make them look extra gorgeous. Jaebum’s sizzling gaze makes Jinyoung’s ears heat up, but being the stubborn person he is, Jinyoung refuses to look away.

Jaebum is the one to look away first, and Jinyoung feels satisfied despite the bizarre situation. Mark looks at them with a thoughtful look, but Jinyoung doesn’t notice because his thoughts have been intruded by Jaebum’s unfairly pretty eyes.

Jinyoung’s thoughts are plagued by Jaebum’s eyes the whole day, and he is so distracted that he forgets to give a few words after never ever is announced the best song of the week. Mark nudges him in the side and he barely manages to wake up from his Jaebum Induced Stupor to thank their precious fans for their support.

Jinyoung is angry at himself the whole way home, both for spacing out on stage and for mooning over Jaebum’s eyes.

A fool, that’s what he was.

3- Jaebum’s voice

Jinyoung decides that he’s had enough with this Jaebum situation. He is done feeling embarrassed whenever Jaebum is in the same room, he thinks to himself as he makes his way into the living room only to be greeted by the sight of Jaebum’s gorgeous shoulders, exposed by a tank top.

Jinyoung feels his face beat up, and has to hastily retreat to his room before he does anything weird. Jinyoung buries his head in his pillow again, cursing his weak mind.

Jinyoung locks himself in his room reading and texts Bambam.

**Jinyoung**

_hey bam can u bring me some kimchi and a bowl of rice_

**Bambam**

_lol where r u_

**Jinyoung**

_in my room_

_come quickly im starving_

**Bambam**

_wait what i thought u were out_

_get it urself lazy ass_

**Jinyoung**

_pls ill tip you_

_bambam dont do this to me pls_

[Read 12:35]

 

Jinyoung flops down on his bed, frustrated. Bambam had no respect for his elders.

Jinyoung decides to ask Mark or any of the other members, before remembering that most of them went out this morning. He runs a hand through his hair -now that’s something Jaebum couldn’t do- and texts Yugyeom, his last resort.

Jinyoung’s halfway through crafting a passive-aggressive text just for Yugyeom when he hears a knock on his door. Finally, he thinks as he rushes over to the door, stomach growling. Just before he opens the door, he hears a very familiar voice,”Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung wants to scream as Jaebum repeats himself,”Jinyoung? Are you here?”

With his back pressed against the door, Jinyoung swallows before replying faintly,”Yeah.”

Jaebum sounds confused as he knocks again,”Can you let me in? I brought food for you.”

Jinyoung’s stomach growls at the mention of food, and Jinyoung can hear Jaebum chuckling lightly, his deep voice echoing in the empty hallway.

“Just put it down outside. I’ll come out and get it.”Jinyoung replies.

“Jinyoungie? Are you okay?” Jinyoung detects a faint hint of worry in Jaebum’s voice, and the endearing nickname reminds him of the birthday song Jaebum sang to him on his nineteenth birthday.

Jinyoung remembers when Jaebum surprised him by singing the clumsily worded birthday song as soon as it strikes twelve. He remembers crying when Jaebum brings out a small cake for them with the softest smile on his face. He remembers being with his favourite hyung in the whole world, just the two of them chasing their dreams.

It’s Jinyoung who encourages Jaebum to post the song online, but now Jinyoung wishes that they had kept that moment private. Just between the two of them.

Jaebum sounds frantic outside,”Jinyoung? What are you doing?”

Jinyoung steadies himself against the door, his heart beating erratically from all kinds of emotions,”I’m fine, hyung. I’ll just get it later.”

“Fine.” Jaebum sighs, defeated.

Jinyoung waits for a good fifteen minutes to open the door and get the food, making sure the coast is clear before he ducks outside and grabs the tray.

He’s just slightly disappointed when Jaebum isn’t there anymore.

Back in the comfort of his own room, Jinyoung tucks into his meal while thinking of Jaebum. Jaebum’s voice, to be specific. He knew that Jaebum had a good voice -he was the main/lead vocal after all-, but he didn’t know how to feel about the fact that he could tell what Jaebum was thinking just from his voice.

To top it off, Jaebum’s voice on its own could already make him weak in the knees, a fact Jinyoung really didn't like.Whenever he heard that deep, mellow tone, both sexy and endearing, his heart would speed up involuntarily. Jaebum’s voice made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, which also made him want to punch a wall. Jinyoung hated to feel so powerless and weak even in his own room.

Im Jaebum was a fucking menace, and one day, Jinyoung vowed, he would gain the courage to yell at him for making him feel so conflicted.

\------

Jinyoung’s plan turns out to be an utter failure when he finds himself huddled in the corner in their living room after Jaebum flashes him a particularly bright smile. It’s late, and Jinyoung can see the moon outside shining with its pale luminescence, but Jaebum’s smile is as bright as the sun, melting down all of Jinyoung’s defences. Jinyoung’s heart starts racing against his will, and mercifully he manages to hold his blush until he’s out of Jaebum’s sight and hiding his face in a book.

Jinyoung reads half-heartedly, scanning the words on the pages quickly. He couldn’t wait until their manager arrived and announced their schedules quickly, so that he could retreat to his room.

Someone taps Jinyoung on the shoulder and Jinyoung jumps out of his skin. Im Jaebum was a monster, constantly tormenting him with his casual gestures of affection and pulling away when he tries to get close. Jinyoung whirls around, ready to finally give Jaebum a piece of his mind when he comes eye to eye with Mark.

“Oh.” Jinyoung feels both relieved and slightly disappointed. “Hi hyung.”

Mark smiles with a knowing glint in his eye,”Hey Jinyoung.” He sits down next to Jinyoung, peering at his book,”Don’t be too disappointed that I’m not Jaebum. He’s right over there.”

Jinyoung snaps to attention, trying to control the spreading heat on his cheeks,”What do you mean?”

Mark laughs at his flustered reaction,”You’re so obvious about him, Jinyoung.”

“Hyung, I’m suffering so much.” Jinyoung covers his burning face with his hands. “Jaebum hyung is so distracting, I can’t even stand to be in the same room as him.” Jinyoung proceeds to ramble about how Jaebum’s wide shoulders and pretty eyes and even his voice make him feel like a schoolgirl with an embarrassingly huge crush, and he feels slightly better after letting it all out.

Mark listens to his rant without interrupting or asking questions, and after Jinyoung is done, he raises an eyebrow at Jinyoung,”Sounds tough, Jinyoungie. Also sounds like you’re in love, but that’s for you to figure out yourself.”

 _In love? What? Jinyoung was NOT in love with Jaebum._ Jinyoung opens his mouth to launch into a very indignant speech about how he is not in love with Im Jaebum, but then their manager hyung calls for their attention and Jinyoung has to listen closely to make sure he knows what’s going on.

Jinyoung spends the rest of the night fuming instead of falling asleep. Jinyoung’s tired, frustrated and hungry, and he finally decides to sneak out to the kitchen for a quick snack.

Jinyoung paddles outside in his navy pajamas, careful not to make any noise. He sees light coming from the kitchen and peers inside hesitantly. Would it be manager hyung making a late cup of coffee?

Jinyoung is greeted by a familiar back, and he has to suppress the urge to scream. Could Jaebum give him a break?

Jinyoung’s brain is screaming _fuck fuck fuck ABORT MISSION ABORT,_ but Jinyoung’s body refuses to listen as he freezes in the doorway.

_Smooth move, Jinyoung._

“Jinyoung?” Jaebum spots him outside.

Jinyoung feels like he’s being caught doing something he shouldn’t have done, and he smiles awkwardly,”Hyung.”

Jaebum smiles at him-not the million-dollar smile he flashes at fangirls, but a smaller one that makes him look almost shy (it’s breathtaking all the same)-,”I made ramen. Want some?:

Jinyoung nods numbly, and Jaebum hands him a bowl before gesturing him to go outside.

They sit down at the dining table together, Jaebum delving into his bowl of ramen and slurping up the noodles like a starving wolf. Jinyoung eats his portion slowly, not because he’s not hungry but because he doesn’t know how to do with his messed up feelings towards Jaebum. Jinyoung’s never been so emotionally constipated before, and he’s sick of carrying around the simmering pot of emotions which boils when Jaebum’s around.

“Hyung-”

“Jinyoung-.”

They say at the same time, and Jinyoung lets Jaebum speak first by slurping up more noodles.

Jaebum’s eyes are sparkling as he wipes away the ramen soup on his mouth,”Guess what, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung looks up from the ramen quizzically, chewing on the noodles.

Jaebum’s grinning so wide that Jinyoung had see his white teeth even in the semi-darkness of the dining room,”I went back to the company today and the producers at JYP finally approved of our songs. We might get a summer comeback soon as JJP again!”

Jinyoung pauses mid-chew as he tries to take in the incredible news. Jinyoung remembers pouring over their co-creations anxiously in one of their company’s studios, waiting for a chance to comeback. After almost five years, their chance is finally here.

Jinyoung smiles at Jaebum unrestrainedly for the first time in days when he sees a glint of tears in Jaebum’s eyes. How could he ever feel awkward with his Jaebum hyung after so many years?

Jaebum grabs his free hand and pulls him into a congratulatory side hug,”Do you want to go over our tracks tomorrow?”

Jinyoung nods, resting his chin on Jaebum’s broad shoulder. The messy feelings in his heart start to become clearer after his chat with Mark, but he’s still not sure what to make of them.

But, Jinyoung thinks as he feels Jaebum’s laugh from their bodies pressed tightly together, _does it really matter?_

\-----

Jinyoung formally receives the good news from JYP the next day. He’s sitting side by side with Jaebum in (senior) Park Jinyoung’s office when the older man discusses their comeback details with them.

Jinyoung’s excited, as they decide on the tracklist and make plans to complete some of the unfinished songs, but he can’t help but feel hyper aware of Jaebum’s body so close to him. He can practically feel the warmth radiating off Jaebum’s arm as he leans towards Jinyoung and looks him in the eye,”Hey Jinyoung, are you even listening?”

Jinyoung flinches and jerks back, suddenly aware of Jaebum and JYP’s eyes on him,”Yeah, sorry I was spacing out. What were we talking about again.”

JYP smiles kindly,”It’s okay, I understand your schedule has been packed lately. Jaebum, make sure you both get enough rest before the comeback. Anyway, we were just talking about…”

Jaebum nods, eyes never leaving Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung starts to zone out again, until Jaebum fixes him with a sharp glare that clearly says _pay attention!_.

2012 Jinyoung would’ve pouted at Jaebum until he gave in and ruffled Jinyoung’s hair, but Jinyoung is a mature adult now.

Jinyoung is a mature adult, Jinyoung tells himself repeatedly, trying to get through the meeting that seems to go on and on. In the end, it’s JYP who notices his eyelids drooping shut and ends the meeting.

Jinyoung bows quickly and heads outside as soon as JYP dismisses them, Jaebum hot on his heels. As soon as they’re outside Jaebum pulls him aside.

Through Jinyoung’s sleepy, slightly disoriented vision, he can see the clear concern in Jaebum’s eyes as Jaebum steadies him with a firm hand,”Jinyoung, are you okay? You seemed really out of it back in there.” Jinyoung nods, but Jaebum still looks uncertain, insisting on keeping a hold on Jinyoung’s arm as they head towards the carpark. 2012 Jinyoung would’ve felt elated at this golden opportunity to cling on Jaebum tightly and tease the elder, but Jinyoung feels too woozy and lightheaded to even speak.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.” Jaebum says once they’re in the car, his eyes downcast. Jinyoung peers at him through half-lidded eyes; Jaebum looks regretful and his mussed red hair make him look like a kicked puppy.

Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut, trying to get some sleep on the way home,”It’s okay.”

When they get home, Jaebum fusses over Jinyoung like a concerned mother, bringing Jinyoung warm water and meds, telling him to go to sleep early and even going as far as making him porridge.

“Hyung, I’m okay.” Jinyoung protests weakly from his fetal position on the couch. Jaebum refuses to take no as an answer, and even blows on the porridge before feeding Jinyoung. Bambam, who’s also on the couch, seemed shocked but not surprised, only raising his eyebrows at the duo before going back to scrolling on his phone.

Jinyoung can’t help but enjoy being taken care of, and he feels warm when he goes to bed early under Jaebum’s watchful eye.

It’s just like back in 2012, when Jinyoung was Jaebum’s only maknae and Jaebum spoiled Jinyoung to bits.

Jinyoung feels much better the next day, feeling just slightly dizzy, and Jaebum goes back to being cool and chic again. Jinyoung selfishly wishes that he was sick for a longer time, so that Jaebum would pay attention to him.

That never happens though, as Jaebum goes back to sitting next to the younger members, too far away from Jinyoung for his comfort.

\-----

Got7’s comeback promotions end, and while the other members have a chance to catch a breather, Jaebum and Jinyoung focus on preparing for their own comeback.

Jinyoung starts noticing how different Jaebum acts towards him when they’re alone- When it’s just the two of them, Jaebum dotes on Jinyoung, pinching Jinyoung’s cheeks and teasing Jinyoung when he blushes. When they’re back in a group setting, Jaebum becomes more withdrawn, focusing more on the kids and just letting Jinyoung get on without his help.

Jinyoung feels confused by these mixed signals. He hates how he’s “Jinyoungie” only when it’s the two of them, and plain old “Jinyoung” when the others are around.

Mark laughs when Jinyoung complains about this,”You two sound like a married couple.”

Jinyoung glares at him without any malice in his eyes,”We do not!”

Mark scrolls mindlessly on his phone, only giving Jinyoung half of his attention,”You do. Jinyoung, you’re like the mum who’s jealous that your husband Jaebum is paying more attention to the kids than to you.”

Jinyoung smacks Mark’s knee,”I’m not jealous!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jinyoung.” Mark laughs and bats away Jinyoung’s hand. “So you agree that you and Jaebum are married then?”

Jinyoung massages his throbbing head,”If you weren’t my hyung, you would be dead right now.”

He can hear Mark’s tinkling laugh when he leaves the living room. Honestly, if Jaebum and Jinyoung were married, Jinyoung would be filing for divorce.

\----

Comeback preparations for their album, Verse 2, goes smoothly and in no time they’ve finalised the songs and finished all the photoshoots for the four different photobooks. They train almost every waking moment, and Jinyoung manages to feel even more exhausted when they were promoting Never Ever.

Jinyoung’s eyes droop shut in the tiny studio one day, and Jaebum catches his head right before it hits the desk.

“Jinyoung, you really need to get rest.” Jaebum says, his hand warm on Jinyoung’s nape.

From a close distance, Jinyoung admires Jaebum’s face silently. Jaebum’s slender eyes are filled with concern, his lush lips hanging slightly open. Jaebum looks so close and so beautiful that Jinyoung wants to do something impulsive, like kissing him.

Jinyoung jolts wildly, and Jaebum loses his grip on Jinyoung. “Yeah, I will.” Jinyoung rubs his neck self-consciously, fully awake now.

The thought of kissing Jaebum plagues Jinyoung’s mind for the next few days, and Jinyoung struggles to look Jaebum in the eye. Jaebum looks the same, eyes shying away from Jinyoung’s gaze whenever their eyes meet.

It’s awkward, and Mark notices, of course.

“You and Jaebum need to stop dancing around each other.” Jinyoung nearly jumps out of his skin when he arrives home late just to find Mark sitting on his bed in pitch black darkness. “It’s exhausting for the rest of us just to watch.”

“What?” Jinyoung switches on the lights. “The kids know about… whatever this is?”

Mark nods, rubbing his eyes,”Jackson and Bambam know. Yugyeom’s catching on, and even Youngjae has a feeling. I heard him on the phone, asking Jaebum whether you guys were fighting.”

“Oh no.” Jinyoung says. He had no idea his awkwardness with Jaebum would affect the others. “What should I do?”

“Talk to him. You two need to communicate.” Mark stretches like a lazy cat and walks out of the room, leaving Jinyoung alone to think about this mess.

Jinyoung decides he hates how Mark keeps walking out on him, but he hates Jaebum more. 

\----

The next day is JJ Project’s 5th anniversary. Jinyoung feels nostalgic, thinking of how far he had Jaebum had gone. He also feels dread when he thinks of Mark’s advice.

_Talk to him._

Easy said than done. How could he talk to someone who didn’t even want to look at him?

Jinyoung feels ever so frustrated as they rehearse for their stage, both muscles and brain aching tremendously. Their performance is different from what they’ve been doing before, and it takes extra time and effort for Jinyoung to adjust. After practise, Jinyoung grabs his stuff and heads out, wanting some time to himself to rest and think about this whole mess, but Jaebum stops him.

Jaebum’s face is slick with sweat, but his eyes are hopeful as he looks at Jinyoung, ”Do you want to get some ice cream? My treat.”

It’s exactly what Jaebum used to tell him after hours of practise, and Jinyoung really can’t refuse such a sincere peace offering,”Yeah, just let me take a shower first.”

Jinyoung showers quickly, and when he’s done Jaebum’s next to the company’s entrance, dressed in fresh clothes. Jaebum smiles at him for the first time in days, which stirs something in Jinyoung’s heart. He ducks in the car quickly, not wanting Jaebum or their adoring fans to see his pink cheeks.

The car takes them to a nearby ice cream shop that they used to frequent back in their trainee days, and Jinyoung is suddenly hit by all sorts of memories. Jaebum promising him ice cream after practise to motivate him, sharing the biggest banana split with Jaebum, Jaebum wiping off ice cream on his chin with a napkin. Jaebum, Jaebum, Jaebum.

Jinyoung tells himself to snap out of it as they get out of the car and head into the ice cream shop, the cool blast of air conditioning welcome to his sticky skin. They stand in front of the fancily decorated menu, but Jinyoung already knows what he wants.

Flashing a smile at the cashier, Jinyoung begins to order,”A scoop of mint chocolate please, with-” “With sprinkles and extra whipped cream.” Jaebum finishes Jinyoung’s order perfectly before ordering for himself, and Jinyoung marvels silently at how Jaebum still remembers his go-to order after such a long time.

They dig into their ice creams, both hungry after a long day of dance practise. Jinyoung’s phone vibrates in his pocket, and he grabs it only to see a text from Jaebum.

**Jaebum**

_You have sprinkles on your lips_

Jaebum grins at him across their shared table, and Jinyoung mock glares at Jaebum before wiping away the sprinkles and typing a reply.

**Jinyoung**

_Why are you texting me we’re in the same room_

**Jaebum**

_The fans are watching us outside_

  
_Do you want them to see you with cream on your face?_

Jaebum smirks at Jinyoung, and Jinyoung feels his cheeks grow warm. Jaebum was just  _so_ frustrating sometimes.

Jaebum sends Jinyoung an extremely zoomed in picture of him eating, and Jinyoung squawks before grabbing Jaebum’s phone to delete it.

Jinyoung sends himself heart emojis on Jaebum’s phone while he’s at it, missing the fond look Jaebum sends his way as they huddle around the small table. Jinyoung feels much less awkward as they head back to their dorms together, looking at the stars twinkling faintly in the sky.

Jaebum’s eyes are as bright as the stars, and Jinyoung feels his heart leap when Jaebum brushes his hand against Jinyoung’s casually.

_Crap._

\-----

Jinyoung’s realization that he might be in love with Jaebum shouldn’t feel like such a surprise.

At least that’s what Mark says as he sits cross legged on Jinyoung’s bed, munching on a pack of chips. Jinyoung buries his head into his pillow, frustrated. Mark seems oblivious to Jinyoung’s struggle, snacking happily.

Jinyoung groans, unable to banish all thoughts of Jaebum from his head. Jaebum’s bright smile and crinkly eyes were all he could think of, making him feel awkward every time he saw Jaebum.

To make the matter worse, it had been getting hot lately and Jaebum had started wearing a lot of sleeveless shirts, exposing his toned arms, which made it hard for Jinyoung focus on everything else. Jinyoung felt like screaming every time jaebum noticed him staring and smirked at him.

Mark finally turns his attention from the chips to jinyoung,”If you like him so much, you should ask him out.”

“No.” Jinyoung replies almost instantly. He would rather die than let Jaebum find out about his feelings towards him.

Mark crumples the empty bag and stands up,”Well, then I hope Jaebum does something, because none of us can take the sexual tension anymore.” With a wink, Mark leaves Jinyoung’s room.

Jinyoung wishes Jaebum would do something about their so-called “sexual tension” too, because someone had to- and it sure wasn’t going to be Jinyoung.

\-----

Jaebum does something, alright, but it only serves to make Jinyoung feel more confused.

They were going through their routine for Tomorrow, Today one last time for the day before they headed home.

Jinyoung was exhausted, but he felt motivated by the fact that practise was ending soon. He glances as Jaebum as they get into their ending poses, and his heart sinks when he sees Jaebum’s face contorted into a painful grimace.

Jinyoung holds out his arms in time to catch Jaebum in his arms when Jaebum collapses,”Hyung!”

Jaebum’s ankle is red and blotchy when Jinyoung kneels down to look at it, and Jinyoung looks for the manager or any of the staff for help, but they’re nowhere to be seen.

Jinyoung reaches out to Jaebum gently,”Does it hurt a lot, hyung?” Nothing else pains Jinyoung to see Jaebum being hurt, and he’s close to panic until Jaebum’s eyes flutter open.

“It’s okay.” Jaebum rasps, and Jinyoung is suddenly aware of how little space there is between them. Jinyoung is basically hugging Jaebum while they're both sprawled on the ground and Jinyoung can see those little moles on Jaebum’s eyelids clearly. Jaebum opens his mouth slightly, like he’s about to say something, and Jinyoung is taken aback by how dark his eyes are. Every fibre of Jinyoung’s being feels like it’s burning, and they unconsciously edge closer towards each other, getting closer and closer until-

“Jaebum? What’s going on?” Their manager bursts in the room, heading to Jaebum’s side worriedly. Jaebum instinctively pushes Jinyoung away, and Jinyoung can’t help but feel a little hurt as the manager fusses over Jaebum.

The manager tells Jaebum that he needs to wait for a therapist to come check on his ankle, and asks Jinyoung to head back to the dorms on his own.

Jinyoung refuses right away,”It’s okay, hyung- I’ll wait for Jaebum-hyung.”

“No.” Jinyoung looks at Jaebum quizzically. “Go home, Jinyoung-ah.” Jaebum refuses to meet Jinyoung’s gaze, and Jinyoung feels rejected for some reason.

Jinyoung grabs his stuff and leaves silently, not even stopping for a quick shower before heading straight home.

Jaebum returns home not long after Jinyoung does, the manager staying behind to apply ointment on his ankle. His twisted ankle will get better soon, according to the therapist, and Jinyoung feels relieved.

The members all crowd around Jaebum and ask about his ankle, Jackson even offering himself as Jaebum’s personal servant of the day. Jaebum accepts the members’ well-wishes graciously, reassuring them that he will be better as soon as possible and telling them not to worry. However, when jinyoung offers to get him an ice pack for his ankle, Jaebum refuses instantaneously, asking Youngjae to do it instead.

Jinyoung is confused and a little upset because of Jaebum’s cold attitude. Was it because of the awkward moment they had in the training room? Jaebum was impossible to figure out these days, and Jinyoung was fed up trying to figure out what he was thinking. Add Jinyoung’s maybe-feelings for Jaebum into the mix, and the result was a big fucking headache for Jinyoung.

 _Whatever_ , Jinyoung thinks, _he’ll just go to sleep_.

\-----

 _Going to bed was a terrible idea_ , Jinyoung thinks as he stares at the ceiling, still fully awake after hours. His thoughts are a jumbled mess, and he’s sweaty and tired from rolling around in his covers. It was only June, but the summer heat had already arrived in Seoul. Sadly, the air-conditioning was weak, and the tiny fan Jinyoung put next to his bed failed to provide him with any relief.

Jinyoung gets up, figuring that maybe a cup of ice cold water would clear his mind and help him go to sleep. He trudges to the kitchen sleepily, dragging his unconscious feet along, careful not to wake anyone else in the house.

He successfully reaches the living room with light footsteps, but someone else was already there.

Jaebum was dozing on the sofa, his leg propped up on a spare stool. Even from a distance, Jinyoung can see Jaebum drooling with his full lips opened slightly.

“Hyung.” Jinyoung walks to Jaebum and shakes him awake despite his conflicting feelings because he is a good person who refuses to leave his members out to die.

Jaebum’s eyes flutter open slowing, and Jinyoung is shocked by how good he looks with messy hair and drool on his face at four fucking am. Jaebum rubs at his eyes and looks at Jinyoung weirdly,”Why are you here? Go back to sleep?”

“I just got up to get a glass of water.” Jinyoung mutters, looking anywhere else than Jaebum,”Why aren’t you in bed, hyung?”

It’s Jaebum’s turn to avoid Jinyoung’s gaze, and Jinyoung senses something shifty as Jaebum shuffles in his seat,”Just drink your water and go, Jinyoung. I’m okay here.”

Jinyoung frowns. Jaebum was never someone to camp out in the living room spontaneously, unlike Yugyeom and Bambam who would occasionally announce pillow parties in the living room while everyone else was asleep.

“Hyung, stop joking-” Jinyoung says, confused until he glances at Jaebum’s ankle, lying limply on the stool.

_Oh._

Jinyoung can’t believe how stubborn Jaebum is, even when he’s hurt. “Hyung, are you serious? Just swallow your pride and let us help you, instead of staying in the living room the whole night.” Jinyoung fires at Jaebum, unable to believe him and his stupidly thick head.

 _His head’s not the only thing about him that’s thick_ , the voice in Jinyoung’s head unhelpfully supplies.

 _Shut up_ , Jinyoung thinks to himself, before turning back to Jaebum who at least has the decency to look somewhat ashamed with himself. Jaebum reaches out to Jinyoung,”Jinyoung-”

Jaebum would be a fool to think that Jinyoung’s done with him.

“Have you ever thought of how your actions would hurt yourself? Your back is going to hurt so much after a night here. Have you even thought about the consequences of your actions before doing them? Do you know what hurting yourself would do to the group?”

Jinyoung feels so tired, too tired, when he chokes back a sob and says,”Have you ever thought about me?”

Jaebum looks lost when he looks into Jinyoung’s glistening eyes, and Jinyoung’s heart feels like it's been shattered to pieces.

  
Jaebum’s voice is thick with emotion when he speaks again,”Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung turns around, not wanting Jaebum to see as tears slide down his face silently.

Jaebum’s voice is imploring as he says Jinyoung’s name again.

”Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung wipes away his tears with the back of his hand quickly before turning back to Jaebum. To Jinyoung’s surprise, Jaebum’s eyes are shiny with tears, and he’s never seen his Jaebum-hyung look so defeated before.

Jaebum’s voice is a low rasp when he finally speaks,”Jinyoung.”

“I’m sorry for making you worry. I never meant to make you or any of the members upset.” Jaebum’s face is unreadable, but Jinyoung understands how he feels.

He understands Jaebum because he’s Park Jinyoung and he’s Im Jaebum, simple as that.

Jinyoung knows that Jaebum doesn’t want to burden the members by hiding his feelings from them- the notion is stupid, painfully noble, and Jinyoung loves him so much.

Jinyoung swallows,”Hyung, it’s okay to tell us your difficulties. We’re one team, and we’ll get through everything together.”

Jinyoung can practically see the tears in Jaebum’s eyes, waiting to slide down his handsome face. Jinyoung panics, and he doesn’t know what he’s thinking when he pulls Jaebum into a tight hug.

Jinyoung can feel Jaebum’s head leaning on his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around Jinyoung’s torso. Jaebum feels warm and comfortable so close to him- he feels like home.

Jinyoung can feel Jaebum wiping away his tears, and instead of letting go, he squeezes tighter. Jinyoung’s heart beats violently against Jaebum’s body as he says,”I’ll be there for you no matter what, hyung.”

Jinyoung is suddenly aware of how close they are, and he lets go reluctantly to give Jaebum space, Jaebum’s eyes are red-rimmed, and it pains Jinyoung to see him like this.

Jinyoung touches Jaebum’s tear-strained face gently, mimicking Jaebum’s acting in Dream High 2,”Don’t cry.”

Jinyoung is about to pinch Jaebum’s skin and add in Jaebum’s signature move, but he cracks up at Jaebum’s incredulous face at the same time as Jaebum bursts out in laughter.

And that’s how Bambam finds them, arms wrapped around each other, laughing their heads off in the dark living room at 4 am.

“Some people are trying to sleep here, you know.” Bambam says without batting an eye. “Just a guy trying to get sleep at ass o’clock.”

Bambam slinks back to his room after his short statement, while their shared laughter subsides.

Jinyoung’s ears heat up when he realises that their arms are still around each other, and he’s glad Jaebum can’t see him in the darkness. Jaebum suddenly pulls him into a tight hug, and Jinyoung’s heart speeds up.

“Thanks, Jinyoungie.” Jaebum mutters into Jinyoung’s flaming ear, and Jinyoung briefly wonders if this was all just a dream.

They pull apart eventually, much to Jinyoung’s disappointment, but Jaebum keeps a hand on Jinyoung’s back, sending shivers down his spine.

Jaebum leans towards Jinyoung, and Jinyoung notices with a jolt that Jaebum’s cheeks are dusted with pink too. Jaebum looks so otherworldly in the faint moonlight, and Jinyoung is so distracted by him that he barely notices when Jaebum’s breath hitches.

“Jinyoung.” Jaebum starts off slowly, glancing at Jinyoung uncertainly. “I didn’t tell you at first because I’m your hyung, I need to be strong for you. I’m sorry forhiding from you, but I’ll always take care of you, since you’re my dongsaeng.”

Jinyoung sees the flickering of emotions in Jaebum’s eyes, and he knows Jaebum means something more. _It’s now or never_ , he decides.

“Just a dongsaeng? It’s that all you want me to be?” Jinyoung asks, his eyes fixated on Jaebum.

Jaebum gets what he means, and Jinyoung’s heart soars when Jaebum smiles, catching onto his meaning.

“Well, if I had to pick,” Jaebum’s face is so close to Jinyoung’s that he can feel Jaebum’s warm breath on his nose,”I would pick boyfriend.”

The kiss that follows after is gentle yet passionate- better than Jinyoung ever imagined it to be.

And the rest, like they say, is history.

(None of the members are surprised when Jinyoung exits Jaebum’s room late next morning, lips swollen and face practically glowing- except Youngjae. “ _Hyung, why are your lips so red? Did you and Jaebum-hyung fight?_ ”)

\-----

_One month later_

It’s a sunny day, Jinyoung notices as he gets into the car after recording the week’s inkigayo episode. The shooting was fun but tiring, and he couldn’t wait to get home for some much-needed rest.

He also couldn’t wait to spend time with Jaebum, his boyfriend.

Jinyoung and Jaebum had been together for what, two weeks now? But Jinyoung still had trouble believing that they were dating. The kiss itself had seemed unreal, and their relationship was something very hard for Jinyoung to get his head around.

The members had been excited when Jaebum grabbed his hand and announced that they were dating. They all seemed grateful that they had gotten over their awkward tension, and embraced them with open arms. Some arms more open than the others ( _“No, Bambam, you can’t call us Mom and Dad.”_ ), but Jinyoung felt happy to be accepted by his closest friends all the same.

Their manager had seemed taken aback at first, but he had smiled, congratulated them and advised them to be careful in public if they didn’t want to be spotted. His approval came as a relief to both Jinyoung and Jaebum, who were both concerned about the company’s stance towards their relationship.

Jinyoung and Jaebum had decided on telling their parents on the phone, and thankfully both their parents seemed supportive and not at all surprised.

“I knew this would happen a long time ago.” Jinyoung’s mother had laughed. “You two were too compatible to just stay as best friends anyway!”

Jinyoung’s mother had even teased him jokingly about how she had “the hottest son-in-law in Korea”. Jaebum’s parents had reacted to their news in a similar fashion, showing nothing but love and support to the two of them. It was a great feeling, to be accepted for who you were and who you loved.

In the car, Jinyoung smiles at the fond memory while waving at igot7s who were waiting for him. He settles into the car seat comfortably, scrolling on his phone.

Jinyoung’s eyes widen when he sees a notification from vlive, telling him that Jaebum was live. He clicks on the notification eagerly, smiling at the sight of his handsome boyfriend wearing that stupid yet endearing bucket hat again.

Jaebum talks about their comeback album briefly, giving vague descriptions about their songs, and reads some comments left by the fans. Jinyoung feels his heart leap when Jaebum laughs, grinning that megawatt smile that made Jinyoung fall for him, and Jinyoung suddenly feels the need to be with him.

Jinyoung calls Jaebum, and a staff member picks up. Jinyoung asks her to pass the phone to Jaebum, and his heart basically melts at the way Jaebum laughs and says,”Hello?”

“I heard that you’re on vlive on your own.”Jinyoung says, eyes never leaving Jaebum’s face on his phone screen.

“That’s right.” Jaebum then asks Jinyoung how it went on inkigayo, and Jinyoung tells him he’s watching Jaebum’s vlive. Jaebum tells Jinyoung that he’s doing the live barefaced, and Jinyoung laughs at the cute expression on his boyfriend’s face. Jaebum was just too cute sometimes.

They talk about their upcoming comeback, giving ‘spoilers’ to fans, and Jinyoung can feel their fans’ excitement from the floods of comments in the comment section.

Jaebum asks whether Jinyoung is still at inkigayo, and Jinyoung tells him that he’s going home.

 _To you_ , Jinyoung thinks to himself, and Jaebum seems to get what he means as he blushes a little, grinning brightly.

“I’ll be monitoring you.” Jinyoung teases, and Jaebum tells him to leave some comments.

“I’m pressing hearts continuously.” Jinyoung laughs, and Jaebum’s 240p smile on the screen is so beautiful that Jinyoung stops to take a screenshot.

The car pulls up outside their dorms, and Jinyoung is forced to cut the call short,”Bye.”

“Bye, see you later.” Jaebum’s voice is warm, and Jinyoung suddenly wants nothing more than to be back in Jaebum’s arms.

“Your hat looks nice.” Jinyoung says as a parting comment, smiling at the way Jaebum’s eyes crinkle when he laughs,”See you later.”

“Okay.” Jinyoung’s heart feels light as he walks up to their apartment.

“Okay.” Jaebum ends the call, and Jinyoung misses him right away.

When Jinyoung walks into the dorm, the other members are all crowded around various devices, watching Jaebum’s live.

“Your boyfriend looks good.” Mark says from his position on the couch.

“I know.” Jinyoung replies smugly, and Yugyeom squeals ewwww from the dining room.

Jinyoung smiles fondly at his members, his best friends, who understand and care for him like no one else. Apart from them, he still has Jaebum, Jaebum who stuck with him through thick and thin, from JJ Project to Got7, closer to Jinyoung’s heart than he ever was.

Jinyoung has never been so in love with anyone before, and if Jinyoung was offered the chance to go back in time, it would be a no from him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading even though this is really hasty and the timeline is questionable but i hope you enjoyed it:)))  
> talk to me about jjp on [tumblr](http://www.iwaoiyoonminphan.tumblr.com/) or [ twitter](https://www.twitter.com/moonlikeurs/) for more jjsuffering!!  
> also im so excited for jjp's comeback tmr pls support tomorrow today by voting for jjp on music shows so they finally get the recognition they deserve!!


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